i hate this.

i'm scared and im vulnerable and every word that comes out of your mouth hits me like a ton of rocks. and it all makes me wonder, think is all i can do, since i don't have you around;

why am i so weak when it comes to you? i've never been this fragile, ever in my life, especially not with a guy. and if you love me and you tell me you love me, why am i so scared?

we're so young and so in love, i wonder how we'll be in a couple of years.

my friend sam, is a junior and shes been with her boyfriend for a year and a half and shes thinking about taking a break from him, for the whole summer, for the sake of their sanity. i wonder if we'll be like that. i wonder if we'll ever just get tired of eachother, if all the excitement and anxiety we have for each other will ever fade. makes me wonder if our love will ever fly away. if wonder if we'll ever break up and makeup, i wonder if we'll ever reach that level.

and i wonder if we'll always be happy. i wonder if we'll never have to worry. i wonder if we're going to get married and live forever, like we've promised so many times before.

my sanity is running thin and it proves it all to me; i need you like the air i breathe, i can't eat, i cant hold my head up high and i've been dizzy and lightheaded all weekend and i can hardly even walk straight. i need you physically and emotionally, alex. i'm down and i cant seem to smile, but as soon as i see my aim blinking, i jump up with excitement, read your i love yous and all i can do is smile. your my life, my world, my everything. you always have been. you're all i've ever wanted, my whole life, you're what i've been looking for, you're what i need. and honestly, all i ever want is to be with you. i don;t need anything else in life.