i always thought virginity wasnt a big deal, that it didnt matter who you lost it to, or when you lost it. but, im damn fucking lucky i lost it to my first love, because after the break up, after all the arguing and everything, i gave him something i cant ever give to anyone else, and its another string tying me down to him. i tell myself i need to move on, i tell myself that i will, but the memories always kick back in and no one can quite compare to him. i know that if i do go off with another guy, the things him and i had will always be in the back of my mind.all in all, i do love him and i do want to be with him. i do feel like im trying to do everything for him and that in return, he does walk all over me, but i let him and everyone sees it. you say youre busy, but i just think youre too busy to have a girlfriend. idk, shits hard.