2010, baby~

Balls are dropping, Couples are kissing, shots are being downed, fire works are popping, crowds are screaming; and its the beginning. 2010 is a new year, the start of a new decade and a fresh start. I've gained friends, lost even more, redeemed myself, learned who people really are, fallen in love, cried till i couldnt breathe, fought till white flags were being waved, and prayed tomorrow wouldnt come. got a boyfriend, gained a best friend, told some secrets and kept others. the clock says 3 minutes left, and i cant fuckng wait.

resolutions;

love alex, always, as i promised.

fight for those friends, who i know matter.

grow to be a better person.

smile more often.

learn who i am.

gain 100 friends.

hold hands with 300 people.

try weed.

write letters to all my friends

go to tokyo.

take a road trip with alex.

go swimming in the falls.

stay friends with basti and joao.

~continued

~

I make mistakes. That's what I do. I speak without thinking, I act without knowing. I drink so much that I can barely walk...I'm a fantastic lover though, and an amazing friend. God knows I mean well.

capaldo.

i've loved you once, i'll love you always.

capaldo.

i woke up this morning and instead of being anxious to talk to you to hear what you thought about my blogspot post, i felt bad because i had fallen asleep the night before and forgot to write to you. i like writing to you every night, when you're fast asleep, so that you read it in the morning. i like being the one who starts off your day well. you deserve to be happy as hell, and i try giving that to you. i love you so much and i'm so lucky to have you. you're not just some luxury in my life, you're a necessity and i need you as much as i need the air i breathe. i cant imagine my life without you and i never want to. i don't know how i was ever happy, before i met you. i was put in this world to be with you, and i'm so glad we found each other at such a young age. my friend was like "look, i dont wanna say this, but you and alex, will, idk maybe in a month, maybe 2 months or maybe even in a year, will eventually break up, and you know eric will always be here for you" and i gave him the hardest look and didnt respond to him. there wont be no end. not in a month, 2 months or even in a year. i'm in this forever. we're gonna last forever.

so, i look at my parent's marriage and i listen to their fights and i think about us. i wonder if we're ever gonna end up like that. i think about how they ended up and i think about how we argue. how i'm so desperate to end the argument and tell you i love you, again and again. my mom's desperate for my dad to get back with her, and my dad's desperate for her to stop wanting that. and i dont want to ever fight with you. i want to be with you. i want to marry you. i want to spend the rest of my life with you. i want to die, knowing we lived a long and perfect marriage.

that night you fell asleep on me, i stayed in bed listening to you breathing, and i was assured that someone as perfect as you was real. i don't know what i ever did to deserve you, but karma really did pay me some slack.

i love you so much. i don't need to see you to be assured that i do love you. i don't need to kiss you to know that its not all just appearance i'm interested in. i could spend the rest of my life without seeing you, and i'd still be crazy in love with you. I've been so happy, lately, and i don't want it to ever end. i love you. you're all i need. please, don't ever leave me.

capaldo.

i lose my sleep, lose homework time, lost a friend today, and i give up all the guys in the world, to be with you.i love you.i love you so much. it feels so good to say it because it feels so right. talking to you feels right. for once, i'm finally doing something correctly. i'm not gonna screw up again.im not gonna mess this up because my life revolves around you. i do believe you are "the one" and i do believe we're gonna last forever. today, you did something horrible. absolutely horrible. but, i'm not mad at you. i could never be. nothing can tear us apart, anymore.

i love you, alex. you tell me you love me all the time, and i find it so hard to believe that someone as perfect as you can even take interest in someone as shallow and closed minded as me. you've changed my life, changed my way of viewing relationships. i have to thank austin one day, for leading me into meeting you.

i love you.

daniwoodsie: ------------------------------- 10:37 am -------------------------------
cubanxx129xx: I love you.
cubanxx129xx: So much
cubanxx129xx: Like
cubanxx129xx: Can I fucking kiss you already; :-\
cubanxx129xx: Lol

daniwoodsie: daniwoodsie: %$#%^&*(&%$#$^&*$#$^*(
daniwoodsie: I don't even know
daniwoodsie: What to say
daniwoodsie: To that
daniwoodsie: I love you I love you I love you im in love with you.
cubanxx129xx: Lmfao
cubanxx129xx: Like
cubanxx129xx: I miss you lots dani
cubanxx129xx: I hate that I can't talk to you
cubanxx129xx: During the day
cubanxx129xx: I was doing a track workout in the rain
cubanxx129xx: And I was going faster just to be able to finish just so that I could see you
cubanxx129xx: Oh wellz

daniwoodsie: cubanxx129xx: Oh wellz
daniwoodsie: :||||| im sorrrrry¸ baby. I don't wannna be like vicky and nevereverevevrvwevevr get to see you. It kills me.
cubanxx129xx: It doesn't matter
cubanxx129xx: Ill wait for you
daniwoodsie: Promise me.
cubanxx129xx: I already did
cubanxx129xx: Forever
cubanxx129xx: I save them by mistake but I finally kept the last one :D h

cubanxx129xx: :/ h

cubanxx129xx: I remember that day
cubanxx129xx: Mhm

cubanxx129xx: And look at me now

cubanxx129xx: I don't know how many weeks later :p h

cubanxx129xx: Still here
daniwoodsie: :|
cubanxx129xx: I love you so much

cubanxx129xx: I don't want to fucking

cubanxx129xx: Let go of you

cubanxx129xx: I really don't want to

cubanxx129xx: :3
cubanxx129xx: I meant that from the bottom of myheart
daniwoodsie: :| i've been scared to day, cuz you said something earlier that made me think you wanted out, and quickly. idk., but, i love you too.
cubanxx129xx: What?!

cubanxx129xx: What did I say o_o
daniwoodsie: i dont remember, and i dont wanna remember. it was when we were talking about how i've been grounded.
cubanxx129xx: Dani...
cubanxx129xx: Dani

cubanxx129xx: I nevr want out

cubanxx129xx: Their is no out

cubanxx129xx: Can you grasp that concept and never be stupid enough to think that I don't want to be with you
daniwoodsie: :||||||||||||| okokoko, i'll never have another doubt in my mind, again. i promise. i love you. i love you. i love you so much.
cubanxx129xx: *saves
daniwoodsie: ;D exactly.
cubanxx129xx: I hope so :3

cubanxx129xx: Listen though dani, really though I just want you to believe me and I want you 'til the end of days. Period.

capaldo.

you're not gonna like this one;
we just hung up, and im scared. you've been hanging up earlier, lately, and call me crazy, but i get the feeling you call another chick when you hang up with me. i know you're gonna get mad at me for saying this. -_- but, i'm so used to being fucked over in the worst ways possible, i just start to expect it.
i'm scared; i'm scared i overwhelm you with the things i tell you. i'm scared i'm too open for my own good. i'm scared i'm too much. i'm scared i show my love too much and you're just getting incredibly overwhelmed. I've never loved someone this much. i'm so confused and I'm going crazy; but i wouldn't ever want to stop loving you. never ever. its how you say i love you. how i can sense the truth in your voice. how you put in all of you energy into saying those 3 words. i want to hear you say them all night long.

~~~

daniwoodsie: i love youu.
cubanxx129xx: I love you too :/ h
daniwoodsie: dont be mad, ok? ok :-D
cubanxx129xx: Ya mhm
daniwoodsie: alexxxxxxx-_-
cubanxx129xx: Im just kidding. I love you.
daniwoodsie: fml i thought you were serious. i almost killed myself. I LOVE YOU TOO.
cubanxx129xx: Don't you ever
cubanxx129xx: Because the only way ill be able to see you is to kill myself
daniwoodsie: you're the only thing stopping me.
cubanxx129xx: And you know id do it but then itd get messy
cubanxx129xx: And I don't want to get my things messy
cubanxx129xx: Well then good because ill always be here
cubanxx129xx: So you'll neer die and well be togethor forevor
daniwoodsie: forever&ever, like those ugly lips said.< 3
cubanxx129xx: Haha

capaldo.

your simple i love yous are enough, i dont need anything more.

capaldo.

i'd usually be terrified to be in this deep, praying that the worst wont happen. but for once, everything's different as hell.

capaldo.

daniwoodsie: im always thinkign about you in class, and i randomly get chills and the biggest butterflies and i get so zoned out that ppl can be snapping at me, calling my name, SCREAMING my name and i wont knock out of it cuz i'm so fucking in love with you. my whole life revolves around you. i'd be talking to abbie or azmae and i constantly bring you up and i can tell they get annoyed by it, but i dont care. i dont care to notice or do anything because you're all i need.

capaldo.

after we said our i love yous and hung up, i realized that it kills me when i tease you or when im mean to you. we talk for hours and hours and i spend 99% of that time, making fun of you, and you take it. and the little times that you turn it around on me and make fun of me, it really makes me wonder if you're serious or not and i hate it. you get cute as hell with me, allllllllllllllll the time. idk i jut felt like writing this,ok. i love you.i love you all the time. i love you always. i feel so stressed out when you're sleeping, because i know that i wont be able to talk to you for hours and hours, until you wake up. its 12am and i cant sleep because all i wanna do is talk to you. :|

br0skiez: lets fuck

br0skiez: i've been wanting to
daniwoodsie: ...

daniwoodsie: no

daniwoodsie: WOAH THATS A FIRST
br0skiez: please

br0skiez: ugh
daniwoodsie: i

daniwoodsie: love
br0skiez: T_T
daniwoodsie: alex
br0skiez: YOU GUYS ARENT EVEN TOGETHER

screwisabel: i love him

screwisabel: EVERYTHING

screwisabel: ALL
br0skiez: HE'S
screwisabel: THE TIME
daniwoodsie: NO

daniwoodsie: OH
br0skiez: CYBER?
daniwoodsie: JK YEAH BUT

daniwoodsie: NO
br0skiez: please
br0skiez: i'll show you a good time
daniwoodsie: ....

screwisabel: stfu

daniwoodsie: WHAT ABOUT

daniwoodsie: WILLY
br0skiez: he's not hereeeeeee

br0skiez: :-(

daniwoodsie: ..

daniwoodsie: no man

daniwoodsie: i cant put myself

daniwoodsie: to even looking at someone else

daniwoodsie: like that

daniwoodsie: i cant flirt with anyone

screwisabel: anymore

daniwoodsie: no hot guy at school

daniwoodsiel: NO ONE
br0skiez: FUCK YOU

br0skiez: MAN

br0skiez: now i gota tell brandon the plan failed
daniwoodsie: ...............................
br0skiez: HAHAHAHAHAH
daniwoodsie: you guys are so cool
br0skiez: no but really
daniwoodsie: no
br0skiez: if i was buttnaked on your bed you'd just... look away?

br0skiez: and leave?

br0skiez: really?
daniwoodsie: yes.
br0skiez: liar

br0skiez: LYING UP THE ASS
daniwoodsie: i swear man

daniwoodsie: i know its weird as hell

daniwoodsie: woah italics

daniwoodsie: but

daniwoodsie: i cant idk
br0skiez: br0skiez (8:59:35 PM): brandon, if i was buttnaked on your bed would you leave
brandonatorrr (8:59:56 PM): .......um

brandonatorrr (8:59:59 PM): no :l

br0skiez: at lease someone makes me feel wanted :l
daniwoodsie: :|

daniwoodsie: oh

daniwoodsie: im sorry
br0skiez: no you're not

br0skiez: goin back to being mad at you again
daniwoodsie: wow.

capaldo.

do you have any idea how much i miss you when i'm just being a bum on my ass at home? i miss you a whole lot. so then, i just get online and leave you IMs to your phone, hoping you have time to reply. you know what I do alot? i talk about you. don't judge me but it's just a habit, you manage to slip in to every conversation i have. I've been in my fair share of relationships, trust me. Just one was serious and the rest were just for the fuck of it, you know? we're getting serious. we are a serious and committeted relationships. i don't like opening up, i hate it, honest to god i do because everytime i do, it just crashes and burns. with you, i opened up so easily. every time i'm on a1m, i stare at your screen name for a good 2 minutes, before i IM you. I love talking to you. you're so weird and funny, just so damn lovable. there's a permanent smile smacked on my face every second we talk. we can be talking about a whole lot or a whole lot of nothing but i still love it. you mean everything to me and i've never fallen this quick for someone. I mean, can you blame me? you're amazing and flawless in my eyes. you're just perfect and we're honestly meant to be for each other. usually, it's my place to fuck up but not this time. i'm not going anywhere, not leaving, not doing anything that messes this up. this is love, this is all i want, you're all i want. You've changed me for the better and ever since November 10th you've made me feel complete, and as each and every day goes by, honest to god, i think i fall || that much more in love with you if that's even possible. You're my husband, my life, my everything, and you're all I need. Promise me that we're just gonna be together until the sun burns out, until the last drop of water in the ocean goes dry. I'm sorry if i'm not all you want but you're all that i could every want for. BUT ANYWAYS thank you for being here, thank you for loving me, thank you for being this amazing person that's in my life and makes it that much better each and every day. I love you baby forever and always.

capaldo.

i love you so much that it even surprises me that i could love a person this much. baby, i honestly have not ever felt this way for anyone. everyone before has just been another relationship to add on to 'my list' but when you stepped into my life, i knew there would be none of that because you are permanent, there is no way i am giving up a love like yours. i love you so much that i look forward to the next day, just to be talking to you because that is all i want to do, you make me happy and i love you so much, alexander capaldo.